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I make my own path...
And I love it that way.
Reasons why I should stop loving him 
15th-Jun-2008 08:36 am
1. He has no respect for me.
2. He lies to me constantly.
3. He blames his troubles on me.
4. He cares more about himself than his daughter and I.
5. He doesn't give a crap about me.
6. He offers others help, and then puts me down if I am need.
7. I'm so mad I can't remember the rest of this list.

My heart hurts.
Comments 
15th-Jun-2008 05:07 pm (UTC)
Listen to what you already know in your heart. If you let that internal voice guide your decisions, you won't ever be wrong. You have a beautiful daughter and you'll be able to make an amazing life for the two of you. I can't imagine the struggle, but I do know that you are a strong, resilient, intelligent woman. It would be ridiculous to think that loving someone so self-absorbed wouldn't be crushing. Give yourself time to heal, time to be angry, time to sort things through. ((Hugs)) < /'Mama Hen' unsolicited advice>
15th-Jun-2008 05:47 pm (UTC)
It's my brain that is attempting to reason with my heart. My heart is too full of love and warmness. My heart believes he loves me and her, and can change. My brain knows better. My heart loves him and is hanging on to the false hope he plants in me with his words and actions. My heart is holding onto who he once was, whether that man was the fake him or the real him.

He turns me into a bowl of mush, unlike anyone else in my life, outside of my own father. :(

Thank you, love
15th-Jun-2008 05:12 pm (UTC)
Remember also that you can't change someone else. Only your response and how you deal with situations. I learned that the hard way. It took an alcoholic, abusive, self-serving SO but I finally got it.
15th-Jun-2008 05:48 pm (UTC)
I know that, I really do. I just want him to change himself...
16th-Jun-2008 07:39 am (UTC)
*hugs* I'm so sorry hon. He turned out to besuch a damn a jerk :(
***hugs you tight***
16th-Jun-2008 01:15 pm (UTC)
The worst part is that instead of getting better, he's getting worse. :(
17th-Jun-2008 05:13 am (UTC)
*HUGS* I am so damn sorry. I wish there was something I could do to help you out. If it was me, I wouldn't let him anywhere near my child just for the fear that he may do something. Not saying he WILL it's just you never know. This reminds me of my cousin. Only thing is. He's the one who's the stable one yet he lost all vistation to his child (more like she split the state with his dauhgter) He has to pay child support on a child he hasn't seen in years :( It sucks on his part but if you were to yank visitations from your ex he'd sure as hell freaking deserve it for the hell he is putting you through and also putting that sweet little girl though. Worse thing about this whole thing is she is gonna hate him so much when she gets older because she is gonna see growing up how much of an asshole he is to you :( I really wish I knew what to do or say about this whole thing. I hope you know I am always always here for you. I got a new email address so if you need anyone to talk to, I'm always available. I can't promise I'd be there right that second but I'm always checking it at least once a day. You can email me @ hunterandkaidensmommy@gmail.com and my aim screen name is wildsoxbabe29 (although I am hardly online for chats anymore and I am thinking of changing that, if I do I'll be sure to let you know) I really wish there was something I could do/say to make things better for you :( I am always here for you.
*hugs*
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